Tuesday, May 22, 2018

10 Sexy Vacation Destinations

Copyright 2018 by Gary L. Pullman

Art galleries and museums have recently discovered what advertisers have always known: sex sells. Since Adam and Eve first discovered they were naked, men and women have been obsessed with sex—and not only with sex itself, but also with art and artifacts related to sex.
It's high time, some enterprising investors, curators, and builders have decided, that they get in on action that has hitherto been the province mostly of prostitutes and pornographers. Under the guise of offering education, art, history, and just plain fun, museums and theme parks have been opening, plan to open, or, in some cases, once planned to open, their doors to the public, inviting them to leer at and handle artworks and artifacts or otherwise interact with exhibits, attractions, and rides as varied and delightful as the human imagination itself.
The next time we consider traveling abroad or taking a road trip at home, we might want to include one or more of these ten sexy vacation destinations.
10 Museum of Sex


Daniel Gluck's (LINK 1) Museum of Sex opened in New York City in 2002. (LINK 2) Boasting over 15,000 artifacts and special exhibits, (LINK 3) it offers something for everyone: a boob bounce house, statues devoted to “the sex life of animals,” nude paintings, illustrated sex manuals, a kinesthetic campground, stag films devoted to a variety of fetishes, and much more, including a research library, a media library, and, of course, a gift shop. (LINK 4)

9 Museum of Eroticism
What would Paris be without a sex museum? This city, famous the world over for romance, has such a museum (of course!). Alain Plumey and Joseph Khalifa's Museum of Eroticism opened in 1997, in Paris' red-light district, Pigalle. The seven-floor museum is home to 2,000 works of erotic art, viewed by 17,000 visitors per year. The two lower floors are devoted to ancient fertility artifacts, the third floor to prostitution and brothels. “More contemporary and 'western'” artifacts are displayed on the upper floors, and the two top floors house "revolving exhibits." (LINK 5) 

The museum features naughty paintings, risque wooden sculptures, “chairs” equipped “with revolving tongues,” sassy hand-cranked “wire sculptures” capable of sexy moves, and doll houses into which salacious visitors may leer with impunity. A silent film also plays: “Polisson et Galipettes,” a compilation of one-reel silent films made to get brothel patrons into the mood. (LINK 6)

Sacred, contemporary, and popular erotic art from Africa, America, Asia, Europe, and Oceania is on display, and the museum showcases the work of international artists. (LINK 7)

8 Venustempel Sexmuseum
Not to be outdone by New York or Paris, Amsterdam is home to Venustempel. In fact, having opened in 1985, it's the oldest museum of its kind in the world. Like other sex museums, it claims to be educational: it offers a tour of sex through history. (LINK 8)

Venus herself—or a statue of her, anyway—greets visitors at the door. Inside, three floors present “galleries and halls named after historical figures in eroticism.” On the ground floor, there's Casanova Gallery, Marquis de Sade Hall, and Fanny Hill Street. The first floor features Valentino Gallery, Catharina the Great Hall, Oscar Wilde Hall, and Madame Pompadiour Hall. The second floor houses Vargas Hall. (LINK 9)

7 Sex Machines Museum
Prague's Sex Machines Museum showcases 200 devices intended to enhance erotic pleasure. Articulated mannequins model many of these appliances, and signs explain the equipment's designs and functions. Lingerie and undies are also on display, an art gallery illustrates intimate behavior, and a small theater continuously plays adult films produced during the Roaring Twenties. (LINK 10)

A few exhibits are self-explanatory, perhaps. The golden female figure astride a spinning wheel affixed with tongue-like protuberances speaks for itself. Ancient Greek prostitutes wore special shoes, on the soles of which were inscribed the come-hither suggestion, “Follow my steps.” In other instances, visitors are likely to benefit from the explanations accompanying the artifacts on display. An anti-masturbation penis ring activates, one display's text explains, when its wearer becomes excited. An alarm sounds in his parents' bedroom, so they can then rescue their wayward son from the terrible effects of self-abuse. (LINK 11)

6 Icelandic Phallological Museum

A museum dedicated to penises? Impossible!
Not in Reykjavik, Iceland.
The Icelandic Phallological Museum is home to over 200 penises or “penis parts.” There is at least one of each of Iceland's land and sea mammals. There are specimens from whales, seals, walruses, and a polar bear. Four men have also willed their own members to the museum, when they no longer have need of them. A store sells “souvenirs,” including “designer condoms” and “willy warmers.” (LINK 12)

Sigurður Hjartarson, the museum's founder began his unusual collection after he received a pizzle, or bull's penis, to use as a whip to use to drive the animals he tended. In 1974, he was working in Akranes, as a headmaster, and the teachers in his employ, who worked at a “whale station” during the summers, presented him with numerous whale's penises. He opened the museum in 1997 with 62 specimens. The museum was relocated twice, once to Húsavík and then back to Reykjavik, this time for good. Now, the founder's son, Hjörtur Gísli Sigurðsson, is the museum's curator. (LINK 13)

A penis-shaped sign out front identifies the museum. Inside, the penises await, displayed in jars, mounted on walls, and exhibited on shelves. One specimen, that of an elephant, doesn't so much hang on a wall as through it, astounding visitors with its sheer length and girth. (LINK 14) Scrotum lights (lamps made of bull and ram scrotum skins) are also likely to raise a few eyebrows. (LINK 15)
The items are cataloged, with notes concerning their identities, sources, manner of acquisition, dimensions, donors, and other relevant data. Concerning some specimens, the catalog contains curious anecdotes of folklore as well. One note reads, "Shrunk testicles from the ill-famed cat that used to dig itself into the churchyard of Thingmuli in East-Iceland and eat corpses during the first half of the 19th century. The eye-glances of this cat were fatal to all creatures." (LINK 16)

5 Penises of Bhutan

More penises are on display in Bhutan. Painted on the exteriors of houses, restaurants, and shops throughout the village, these mighty portraits are the legacy of phallic worship. The phallus (a representation, in a painting, in a sculpture, or in some other medium) was believed to induce fertility. In addition, it was also considered a potent protective charm, or talisman, able to deflect evil spirits or change them into “protective deities.” (LINK 17) (Local legend claims Bhutan's saint Lama Drupka Kinley, “the Divine Madman,” hit demons over the head with his penis in order to subdue them, and several wooden penises are kept on display in nearby Chimi Lhakhang monastery.) (LINK 18) In addition to promoting fertility and protecting people against demons, the penises prevent family squabbles, some say. (LINK 19)

Although the previous generation sometimes finds the penises embarrassing, their children embrace them as part of their cultural heritage, and some filmmakers among the younger generation are making documentaries about the penises. (LINK 20)

Painted in various pastels (pink seems to be a favorite), the erect, disembodied penises, equipped with testicles, seem to float or fly, and they are often adorned with blue, pink, or green ribbons. Some are vertical, others upright. Some appear to ejaculate, but their emissions look more like vapor or confetti than they do semen. (LINK 21)

4 Garden of Eden
No, we're not talking about the Biblical Garden of Eden. This one's in Taiwan—or it will be, if it's actually built. The Taiwanese version is supposed to be built in Yunlin County, near the island's Southwest Coast National Scenic Area. If so, it should be “scenic,” all right. (LINK 22)

Park administrator Cheng Rong-fong said the project's only a twinkle in the developer's eye at this point. Whether its exhibits are actually erected depends on whether the local government gets on board with the proposal for the “educational” park. (LINK 23)

The Garden of Eden would be modeled on other erotic parks, such as Jeju's Love Land in South Korea and Vigeland Park in Oslo, Norway. Some of its attractions would focus on “sex positions, unusual sex lives, and sex toys.” (LINK 24)

3 Erotikaland
Piracicaba, Brazil, may also become home to a sex park, Erotikaland. At a cost of $80 million, its developer, Mauro Morata, will build a “7-D cinema” equipped with “vibrating seats,” a sex toys gift shop, a museum with exhibits concerning “the history of sexuality, instruction concerning proper condom use, “erotic games,” erotic sculptures, a swimming pool for nudists, a “sex playground,” penis-shaped bumper cars, a maze, a Ferris wheel with private booths, and, for those with an appetite for them, “aphrodisiac snacks.” The admission price is stiff, though, and only those who are 18 or older will be allowed into the park. (LINK 25)

2 Amora
For tourists who are interested in sex ed, London's Amora may be just the ticket. The attraction, which bills itself as “The Academy of Sex and Relationships,” provides “hands-on” instruction regarding “sex and relationships,” including such topics as flirting, locating milady's G spot, and otherwise “improving sexual technique.” Many of the exhibits are interactive, including the Spankometer. Catering to a British specialty, Amora offers a female statue with an ample bare bottom on which visitors may practice their paddle swings, receiving immediate feedback, via of the meter, concerning the effectiveness of their efforts. (LINK 26)

1 Love Land

Probably the sexiest vacation destination is South Korea's sex theme park, Love Land. The park isn't for the prudish. Its statues are graphic, showing a variety of sexual acts, some of them rather unlikely, indeed. One sculpture celebrates a bronze threesome involved in oral sex that only acrobats could perform. (LINK 27)

There are many other attractions—140 of them are sculptures of men and women in various sexual positions. One of these, a statue of a horizontal erection, doubles as a bench on which several of the park's guests can ride, as if mounted on a horse (or sorts). The name of the statue is recorded, in both Korean and English, as “Horse riding.” (LINK 28)

A huge female figure lies on her back (seemingly in mid air), head down and long hair flowing, as she pleasures herself with one hand while cupping her left breast with the other, heedless, in her ecstasy, of passersby. (LINK 29)
Four male figures stand behind urinals. Three have working spigots in place of genitals, for guests who might want to turn on the waterworks. The fourth, a middle-age man with a mirror in his pot belly, identifies the exhibit's name: “Tap Water.” (LINK 30)

Nothing is as flattering as imitation, perhaps, nor as welcome, if the imitation brings the same level of success as that which is enjoyed by the original. Such seems to be the reasoning of Taiwan's tourist board, who plan to build a Taiwanese sex theme park, Romantic Boulevard, modeled on South Korea's Love Land. There will be nude statues of men and women and of animals “in sexual positions,” but also arches shaped like Valentine's hearts and glass wedding chapels. There will be something for everyone—unless disgruntled locals persuade officials not to construct the park. (LINK 31)

However, we can strike another Love Land off our lists. The one in Chongqing, China, was demolished even before its opening day. When photos of its exhibits hit the Internet, public ridicule was enough to embarrass local officials. Many Chinese, apparently, are squeamish, or at least ambiguous, about pornography, and they do not appear to have welcomed the jeers Internet exposure brought them. (LINK 32)

One of the would-be Chinese Love Land's first casualties was the lower half of a giant female figure wearing only a red G-string. Her legs straddled the park's entrance, until she was carted away. Other planned exhibits were never built at all: nude sculptures, gigantic genitals, a gallery of lewd photographs, and facilities for sex “workshops.” (LINK 33)

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